Someone gave me advice they said before starting any work it’s
good to make a list of all the things you are thinking of, as this will enable
me to clear my mind and focus. So I thought why not do it in a post? I can share
with you what is going on in my head right now, you’ve been warned. I thought
its best to list these thoughts chronologically or rather should I say in priority.
Firstly my religion is the most important thing to me; it determines
my thoughts, behaviours and attitudes. So regardless of what I am doing religion
will also be present in every act. That’s a no go area.
Next is my family I’m a very family orientated kind of
person. The thought of not having family around terrifies me. Growing up in a culture
where family means a lot I’ve come to see family as a safety net I’ll always be
there for them and I expect the same back. I hate how I feel like I neglect
them when I’m doing assignments etc. Guilt isn’t a nice feeling even though they
assure me I’m not being unappreciative.
Money sometimes worries me I don’t want to be rich and I’m
not overly materialistic I just want a comfortable life. I know how lucky I am
and I appreciate how I have much more than some people out there but I don’t want
to be put into a position where I’m scrimping and saving. I want a good stable
job but I want a career too. To me they are entirely two different things. I don’t
want to become stuck in a routine where I’m doing something repetitive day
after day just because it’s ‘safe’ but do I want to chase after a career and
not get anywhere?
I want a husband. I want to be loved unconditionally, I want
someone to laugh with, to cry with to make beautiful memories with and someone I
can live happily ever after with. Am I asking for too much? Am I living in a
fairytale? Do men like this even exist? Or is it me? Am I unlovable? I know it’s
a cliché but I want a knight in shining armour to whisk me away on his white
horse L...
wake up already I bet you’re thinking? Is it just my luck that the ones I fall
for aren’t interested or are unavailable? I believe in fate I know there is someone
out there for me (sound like I’m going to break into song, I’m not I promise) I
just need to meet him soon before the wrong ones turn me bitter and twisted.
I want a holiday, I want to travel and see this beautiful world.
But like I said I need to meet Mr Right as I want memories to be made with
someone special. But I need to graduate first or do I? Argh :@ I graduate in September
if all goes well but its kind of getting on top of me at the moment. Time seems
to be slipping outta my fingers.
I guess I just gotta keep the faith.... and the question is;
do I need what I want? I’m gona go reflect, I guess this exercise didn’t actually
work ‘cause it just reminded me of all the missing pieces of the puzzle that is
my life...rawr.
